THE WORLD (Naked Departure) — ALL women are definitely afraid of men and this article that I just happened upon (and picked apart) in the HuffPost can’t say it any better. MOST INTELLIGENT women make sure they are educated and are able to support themselves because an intelligent woman knows a good (black) man is almost impossible to find.
Yesterday, a blogger on Naked Departure also nailed it when he/she talked about (black) boys become strong — strong enough where they can actually hurt their single-parent mothers (if they wanted to). The mother knows the exact time when it happens, and in a LOUD but unspoken language, they BOTH know it’s time for the boy to find a new home, or, it’s time for the mother to utilize new skills to parent him. Unspoken languages, on any given day and in any given place, are laced with FEAR.
So, we have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. We’ve learn how to avoid angering a man or putting ourselves in danger. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all laughed off an inappropriate come-on. We’ve all swallowed our anger when being belittled or condescended to. And that doesn’t make up feel good. It’s wrapped up in FEAR. But we do it because to not do it could put us in danger or get us fired or labeled a bi**h. So we usually take the path of least precariousness. Every woman who has to deal with a man does it.
It’s not something we talk about every day. We don’t tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens. Because it is so frequent, so pervasive, that it has become something we just deal with.
So maybe MEN don’t know?… I believe they do know. I believe men like to intimidate women. I believe that although every man came from a woman they silently resent it. And then for the woman…she (silently) knows she’s part of a (birthing) scheme to bring entities in who will ultimately destroy her and her daughters. Man (like up is to down and heaven is to hell) is the opposite of woman. It’s a war — ’til death do we part — and we all (silently) know it!
Maybe they SHOULD KNOW that at the tender age of 13 we had to brush off adult men staring at our breasts. Maybe they SHOULD KNOW that men our dad’s age actually came on to us while we were working the cash register. They probably SHOULD KNOW that the guy in English class who asked us out sent angry messages just because we turned him down. They SHOULD KNOW that our supervisor regularly pats us on the ass. And they surely SHOULD KNOW that most of the time we smile, with gritted teeth. That we look away or pretend not to notice. They SHOULD KNOW how often these things happen. That these things have become routine. So expected that we hardly notice it anymore. So routine that we go through the motions of ignoring it and minimizing.
Not showing our suppressed anger and fear and frustration. A quick cursory smile or a clipped laugh will allow us to continue with our day. We de-escalate. We minimize it. Both internally and externally, we minimize it. We have to. To not shrug it off would put is in confrontation mode more often than most of us feel like dealing with.
You can go online and read the unedited article on HuffPost. But it is important that we recognize the players and the games and work to change the rules of the game. Find the playbook and burn it!