BARBADOS (Naked Departure) — ANDRE SYMMONDS — They say it takes a big man to apologize. Well, Symmonds apparently did just that. He can probably write a tell-all book now to recoup any lost earnings from the tithes and offerings of the poor church people, because that ‘booster’ book he was promoting ain’t saying nothing!
Anyway, we heard that his brother, Kerrie Symmonds (the woman beater), helped him draft a confession letter to the board admitting all of his sinful deeds with the women in the church. Apparently, he had originally denied any wrong doing.
But the hierarchy of the church do not want him back. Once a cheater and a n*****, alway you will remain just that! They are seeking legal advice to strip him of his robe as senior pastor. They are saying he can attend church like anyone else but he would never again sit in the pulpit to deceive the people and screw the women!
Meanwhile his wifey, who is very meek and mild (that means bordering on being an idiot!) had been missing from church. People are saying that Drew, the pastor’s father, has forced her to take him back into the matrimonial home (how do you force someone to take a demon into your home though?). So it seems he has also asked wife for forgiveness.
Confession and the soul is similar to your body if it is ptomaine and diarrhea — it can be painful, but it is a good thing to let things out. We are hoping Andre is feeling ‘relieved’ and will contact us here at Naked Departure for a radio interview (just don’t bring the Jesus and Salvation bs here though).
And to Andre’s wife…(anyone has a photo of her?), the meek will NOT inherit one rasshole thing! You gine get horned again! Save yourself, protect and insulate your children and write a book. People want to know what you have experienced being married to an anti-Christ. Naked Departure